Sunday, May 1, 2011

Brene Brown on Being Whole-Hearted

Call to action: Believe that you are good enough.

Brown studied human connection and saw that shame got in the way. Shame is fear of disconnection. We all feel "I am not good enough" at some point in our lives. But, "in order for connection to happen, we must allow ourselves to be seen, really seen."

She realized that those who are happy and "whole-hearted" feel worthy of connecting with people even though they may not be good enough. They accept themselves. They have 4 things:

1. Courage to be imperfect
2. Compassion to be kind to the self first, then others
3. Connection because of showing their authentic self
4. Comfortable with vulnerability & uncertainty

Those who are not whole-hearted, do the following:

1. Numb vulnerability and all emotions including capacity for joy
2. Hold on to certainty. I think it is more precise to call it righteousness. If something is uncertain, we want to be right. The fundamentalists use religion to be irrevocably right.
3. Try to reach perfection. I also think we try to become normal and be part of the crowd.

She ends by suggesting to love without guarantees and with vulnerability, and just be grateful for all the moments without thinking of what bad things will happen after feeling all this happiness. She hopes for a future where everyone works from a place that says, "I am enough."

I can't express how valuable her book is if you really want to let go of all your misguided misconceptions. The subtitle says it all, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.

I think it is also worth to watch her entire talk.

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